0xDEADCAFE
22-06-2004, 03:56
“Where is she?”
“I bet you’d like to know, wouldn’t you, you brainless behemoth? ‘Venom Lord’ indeed! I don’t think you’ve got a drop of venom in you. No, from what I have seen of you muscle-bound brutes I think I could teach you a thing or two about venom, or poison, which is a specialty of mine. Though I suppose ‘Poison Lord’ doesn’t have quite the same ring to it, even if you were poisonous in some way, which you aren’t. ‘Venom Lord’, whoever came up with that name? Well isn’t that just the way of the world - more myth than truth?”
“Not that you would know anything of the true nature of the world, skulking around down here as you do in the dark lord’s sanctuary. I wonder who built all this. I wonder. It is quite striking, you know. Do you know? What ticks in that cavernous cranium of yours? Do you notice the fantastic architecture, the wildly extravagant decoration and detail? Ha! I should say not. You don’t even notice, as we stare at each other across this narrow expanse of fiery moat, that you could easily lay your claws on me just by hoofing it around one of these grotesquely gothic corner structures.”
“What is keeping that woman?”
“Oh, you are a beauty. Fangs, horns, wings, what a nightmare! And what’s that on your face, are you drooling? Do I look that tasty to you? You’re lucky you know. If you did have enough sense to come around to get me you’d be dead before you knew it. I’ve still got some necromantic tricks up my old sleeve. Not that you’ll live long anyway. But at least, for the little time you’ve got left, show a little dignity and use that massive scimitar of yours to wipe your chin!”
“Drool Lord, now that would be a better name for you. Or perhaps ‘Drooling Big-Stinking-Ugly-Horn’ would be more fitting. Of course, ‘Slimy Chin Monster’ might work too. What about ‘Old Drooling Fangs’? No? Well then I think I shall just call you ‘Droolie’.”
“So Droolie, since it seems that we have some time, among other things, to kill, let me tell you about my companion Julia, or Julie as I like to call her. She’s a mercenary, mine at the moment, the best that money can buy. Oh, you haven’t had the pleasure of meeting her? No, that would be because she’s NEVER AROUND WHEN I NEED HER, no doubt! Not that she’s particularly special in that regard. I’ve had quite a few mercenaries, a whole parade of them you could say - remind me to show you my bone wall some time - and they’ve all had that same uncanny capacity for absence, at the most inconvenient moments. Rather like this one, actually.”
“Not that they don’t have their uses - actually, I’ve got a rather special ‘use’ planned for mine today - and not that they don’t come in handy. No, they’re famous for charging right up to any sort of loathsome demon, um, present company excepted, of course, without a moment’s hesitation, or standing their ground in the face of an overwhelming horde, bravely fighting when others have turned and run. Given enough training and the right equipment they can be a force to be reckoned with. Quite a bunch of heroes really - which probably accounts for their short life spans - but one moment they’re all heroic and the next they’re A-W-O-L. Or they charge when you want them to hang back, or they’re behind a bush when you want them up front or they’re …”
“Where ARE you my dear?”
“Just between you and me Droo - you don’t mind if I shorten your nickname just a bit do you, ‘Droolie’ sounds a bit too much like ‘Julie’, whom I would just-as-soon not be reminded of right now, as I am feeling particularly NEGLECTED at the moment - I sometimes wonder if she has any more sense than one of you lot. Take our current situation, for example. We have already established the fact of our being separated by just a few steps around this near corner, yet you stand there completely oblivious. Well, she does the same thing!”
“Just this morning - when I was wading through a seemingly endless welcoming committee of undeads on my way in here - I’m casting my fingers to the bone when I suddenly notice the complete lack of supporting fire! No zings of arrows passing uncomfortably close to my head, no satisfying thwacks of arrowheads penetrating armor, none of her famous icy missiles freezing the enemy in its tracks, nothing. So I look around, full of concern; is she alright, is she hurt, surrounded, does she need my help? No! She’s right around one of these elaborate corners, just standing, not firing, not frantically trying to come to my aid, not even leisurely combing her hair, just standing, like there was nothing in the world to do, like I didn’t need her, like I’m not risking a horrible death at every moment, like I didn’t even exist. I’ve heard of ‘Out of sight, out of mind’ but really, I’d have thought I mattered a little more to her than that.
“Are you thinking of me now?”
“So - and I’ve seen this behavior before of course, many times - I begin my usual little dance, ‘La Danza Loca Del Mercenario’ I call it, or if you prefer, ‘The Dumb-Merc Tango’, for about the hundredth time: run back around the corner, make a little turn where I know she can see me, march directly away from her, staying in her line of sight until she starts to follow, take a wide turn back up and around the corner, give a quick look behind to make sure she’s still following, and then back into the fray. So far so good, right? Well, I resume my un-undeading activities, expecting a lethal volley of arrows any second, right - nothing!”
“So I turn back again - what now! - and there she is, standing firm, a fierce and intent look on her face, her perfect shoulders well back, her head angled along the line of fire, her muscular arms and strong hands wielding her ancient Elysian bow, a stunning figure of grace and power, firing arrow after arrow - right into the side of a statue! A rather nice one actually, a skeletal work with a sort-of rib cage and spinal column motif, but I mean really! You’d think she might notice a little thing like one of her exploding arrows blowing up right in her face and move a few feet! I have to charge practically into the next room to get her off that pointless perch, and get singed rather badly by a few of your types in the process!”
“Oh yes, and then there is the shoot into a wall trick. There are times when she somehow manages to see a target around a corner but still shoot directly into the corner. I’d love to know how she does it! And, mind you, it’s not just corners and statues that give her trouble. I swear, if I had a gold piece for every arrow she’s shot into some pillar or tree or mound or fence or boulder or whatever, just because it happened to be in the way, well I can tell you I wouldn’t be down here scrounging for trinkets off of disgusting and lethal monsters such as you. Oh now that was unkind of me, wasn’t it Droo? Once again, present company is entirely excepted, of course. As for absent company…”
“Where, oh where…”
“Where could she be you ask, well where couldn’t she be? I’ll tell you, she could be just about anywhere. Let’s see, at a time like this, when I’m facing a messy butchering by a horned horror such as yourself - no offense Droo, but if you could see that ugly mug of yours - she’s either got her nose stuck in some corner, standing just far enough away not to notice my precarious predicament, or, …, or else she’s right over there you notching one with your name on it.”
Thwack!
“Hello. Rather nice shot that. I say, that can’t be too comfortable, my friend, having an arrow head sticking out of your Adam’s apple. Not that you seem to notice… “
Thwack! “ROOOOOAR!”
“Noticed that one did you? I would think so seeing as it took your eye out. Well I’ve got one more notice for you my doomed friend - incoming!”
Thwack! Thwack! Thwack! THUD.
“Au revoir my unfortunate Droolie. Hello, what’s this, a nice dagger, and I’d wager not without a bit of magic I’d wager from the look of it, a pair of old boots, I shudder to think what became of the poor blighter you pulled these off of, and some gold, well a very nice pile! Why Droo, you old faker, you were quite the well-to-do chap weren’t you?”
“And bonjour to the lovely Julie! How nice of you to drop in, my dear. Not a bad time for you I hope? Not dragging you away from something important, am I? I mean, I’m not INCONVENIENCING you am I? It’s not too much trouble to show up for work now and then is it? Or maybe you think I’m not paying you enough - well maybe you should have worked that out before signing on the dotted line! “
“And while we’re on the subject of money, you haven’t somehow confused me with one of those rich necromancers from Lut Gholein have you? Do you see any gem-studded weapons or ornate finery in my attire? Any gold rings or jeweled accoutrements? Or do you see demon hide and bone, worn boots and tattered armor? And nothing I haven’t practically killed myself to get! So I would ask that you try to be a bit thriftier with the provisions I supply. FIVE arrows to kill that beast! It’s not like you just find them just lying on the ground is it? I paid good money for that last quiver and I expect you to make it last!”
“Just how many arrows does it take to kill one of those things? You’re not usually so sloppy. Is everything alright? You’re not hurt are you? Oh, don’t be angry. I’m sorry if I have spoken harshly to you. You really are a sight for sore eyes! But I really should be cross with you, you know. Did you see the look in that thing’s eyes? It would have killed me with no more thought than swatting a fly. No matter how many times I see that murderous look - that vile tryst of brute unconscious malice and pure indifference - I can never get used to it. Is that because of my own longing and loneliness? Or is it because it reminds me of what I’ve become: an unremembered soul in a forgotten realm of unthinkable horrors?”
“I suppose that’s the real reason I keep you with me, my dear. It’s a comfort having you by me, to help me and keep me company. Oh I know we don’t talk, exactly - although at times I’d swear I can hear your thoughts - but we are companions, are we not, and sometimes it’s enough just knowing that there is one living thing in the world that doesn’t hate me.”
“I suppose I should thank you. If you hadn’t come along on this quest, well, who knows where I’d be. Would I still be trying? Would I even be alive? Thank you my dear, for companionship, for the many times you’ve saved my life, for that and so much more. You really have been quite special to me. Thank you. Thank you so very much. I shall miss you.”
“Now, I have something for you. Come here please, yes, come child, come to me. Look, it’s a tiara. Isn’t it beautiful? Do you see the jewel? The jewel is very rare and very special. See its facets, how unusual and intricate they are? Deep within this jewel is an arcane and powerful energy. It almost looks alive does it not? And it’s for you. Here, let me place it upon your head.”
Julia: “I’ll put that to good use.”
“I know you will, my dear. Oh how lovely you look! Now I have some instructions for you. It’s very important that you do exactly what I tell you now. It’s very simple. I want you to go stand over there by that great seal. I will stand over here by this other one. In a moment I will break this seal by me, but first let me make my bone wall.”
Rumble!
“My bone wall! How long it’s gotten, so well populated! It seems like I can remember every one. They’re all here. Do you see them, my dear, the faces, the bony frames of your many predecessors? There all collected here, and soon I will add you to my collection as well.”
“My collection! Oh, but that does sound gruesome. Did I really just say that? Well, am I not gruesome? Look at me, all poison and bone. Am I really that different from poor old Droolie? Do I not prowl the same hallways of the same dark lair in search of same tasty morsels? Do I not deal death just as eagerly? Am I not a Venom Lord myself? This wand my horn, this string of teeth I wear my fangs, and my poison, well, rare’s the venom that’s a match for it. And what end is there for me, Droo, if not the same as yours: a lonely, savage butchering at the hands of a fellow butcher?”
“But what point is there to these endless questions? Why do I torture myself this way when I have strategies to complete and miles of quest before I rest?”
“It’s time Julia. Be brave my dear! But telling you to be brave is like telling a fish to swim isn’t it? Look at you, doing exactly as you are told, without question. Oh, why do you make it so easy for me? How can you put your trust in someone who deals in death so easily, so intimately, as I do? Can’t you see that I am just as foul, just as murderous as any of the other filthy monsters in this place?”
“Julie, I was not always so, no, I was once your age, though it seems impossible now. Yes, there was a time when I would have better places to take a young beauty such as yourself. And better things to say, sweet things, full of love and hope and other silly things. Hear this Julia, this thing I am about to do, would once not have been so easy, to let you go this way. Believe me Julia, that even now as I prepare to do this dishonorable deed, the spirit of a young man calls to you from the depths of my bosom where I once had a heart.”
“But that young man died a long time ago, before he learned the true nature of life and death and of the untold possibilities of what lies in between, before he learned to travel the road from life to death - and back again! Now death is my business, mine!, to give and take, to deal like a deck of cards, or to play like a game of chess. Is it not ironic then that my own existence has become such a mockery of it?”
“I should tell you the truth at least, you deserve that much. Breaking this seal will unleash a small army of monsters much like my former friend Droolie here, but in appearance only, for in truth they will be stronger, faster, harder to kill, and they will descend upon you without hesitation, surround you, and attack you on all sides with only one goal: your death. And should you prove to be their match there is one among them worse than all the rest combined. Their master, a true venom lord, would surely be your doom. The truth is you will be dead in just a moment, finished, a memory, all-in-all just another bone in the wall!”
“But on to business. I break this seal as I would blow you a kiss. Goodbye, my dear.”
Hissssss.
“Am I dreaming? Those lights descending from the vaulted heights, becoming monsters! Can such things be? Julie! Where are you? Are you…, already?“
BOOM!
“OH! Spectacular! Spectacular! That old snake Gheed was right about that jewel after all! Good heavens! Cut them all down in a single blast. Why, there’s hardly anything left of them. Blown to smithereens you might say! Oh no! If that explosion destroyed the items too! No, I can see the glints of steel among the remains. Whew! That would have been a waste of time!"
“So what dropped? Actually looks like a rather nice haul. Well, let’s gather all this up and pay a visit to the market. Oh and let’s not forget that lovely tiara, what a wonderful item that turned out to be. Oh, and I’m lacking a mercenary now aren’t I? "
“Well, there’s plenty more where she came from!”
“I bet you’d like to know, wouldn’t you, you brainless behemoth? ‘Venom Lord’ indeed! I don’t think you’ve got a drop of venom in you. No, from what I have seen of you muscle-bound brutes I think I could teach you a thing or two about venom, or poison, which is a specialty of mine. Though I suppose ‘Poison Lord’ doesn’t have quite the same ring to it, even if you were poisonous in some way, which you aren’t. ‘Venom Lord’, whoever came up with that name? Well isn’t that just the way of the world - more myth than truth?”
“Not that you would know anything of the true nature of the world, skulking around down here as you do in the dark lord’s sanctuary. I wonder who built all this. I wonder. It is quite striking, you know. Do you know? What ticks in that cavernous cranium of yours? Do you notice the fantastic architecture, the wildly extravagant decoration and detail? Ha! I should say not. You don’t even notice, as we stare at each other across this narrow expanse of fiery moat, that you could easily lay your claws on me just by hoofing it around one of these grotesquely gothic corner structures.”
“What is keeping that woman?”
“Oh, you are a beauty. Fangs, horns, wings, what a nightmare! And what’s that on your face, are you drooling? Do I look that tasty to you? You’re lucky you know. If you did have enough sense to come around to get me you’d be dead before you knew it. I’ve still got some necromantic tricks up my old sleeve. Not that you’ll live long anyway. But at least, for the little time you’ve got left, show a little dignity and use that massive scimitar of yours to wipe your chin!”
“Drool Lord, now that would be a better name for you. Or perhaps ‘Drooling Big-Stinking-Ugly-Horn’ would be more fitting. Of course, ‘Slimy Chin Monster’ might work too. What about ‘Old Drooling Fangs’? No? Well then I think I shall just call you ‘Droolie’.”
“So Droolie, since it seems that we have some time, among other things, to kill, let me tell you about my companion Julia, or Julie as I like to call her. She’s a mercenary, mine at the moment, the best that money can buy. Oh, you haven’t had the pleasure of meeting her? No, that would be because she’s NEVER AROUND WHEN I NEED HER, no doubt! Not that she’s particularly special in that regard. I’ve had quite a few mercenaries, a whole parade of them you could say - remind me to show you my bone wall some time - and they’ve all had that same uncanny capacity for absence, at the most inconvenient moments. Rather like this one, actually.”
“Not that they don’t have their uses - actually, I’ve got a rather special ‘use’ planned for mine today - and not that they don’t come in handy. No, they’re famous for charging right up to any sort of loathsome demon, um, present company excepted, of course, without a moment’s hesitation, or standing their ground in the face of an overwhelming horde, bravely fighting when others have turned and run. Given enough training and the right equipment they can be a force to be reckoned with. Quite a bunch of heroes really - which probably accounts for their short life spans - but one moment they’re all heroic and the next they’re A-W-O-L. Or they charge when you want them to hang back, or they’re behind a bush when you want them up front or they’re …”
“Where ARE you my dear?”
“Just between you and me Droo - you don’t mind if I shorten your nickname just a bit do you, ‘Droolie’ sounds a bit too much like ‘Julie’, whom I would just-as-soon not be reminded of right now, as I am feeling particularly NEGLECTED at the moment - I sometimes wonder if she has any more sense than one of you lot. Take our current situation, for example. We have already established the fact of our being separated by just a few steps around this near corner, yet you stand there completely oblivious. Well, she does the same thing!”
“Just this morning - when I was wading through a seemingly endless welcoming committee of undeads on my way in here - I’m casting my fingers to the bone when I suddenly notice the complete lack of supporting fire! No zings of arrows passing uncomfortably close to my head, no satisfying thwacks of arrowheads penetrating armor, none of her famous icy missiles freezing the enemy in its tracks, nothing. So I look around, full of concern; is she alright, is she hurt, surrounded, does she need my help? No! She’s right around one of these elaborate corners, just standing, not firing, not frantically trying to come to my aid, not even leisurely combing her hair, just standing, like there was nothing in the world to do, like I didn’t need her, like I’m not risking a horrible death at every moment, like I didn’t even exist. I’ve heard of ‘Out of sight, out of mind’ but really, I’d have thought I mattered a little more to her than that.
“Are you thinking of me now?”
“So - and I’ve seen this behavior before of course, many times - I begin my usual little dance, ‘La Danza Loca Del Mercenario’ I call it, or if you prefer, ‘The Dumb-Merc Tango’, for about the hundredth time: run back around the corner, make a little turn where I know she can see me, march directly away from her, staying in her line of sight until she starts to follow, take a wide turn back up and around the corner, give a quick look behind to make sure she’s still following, and then back into the fray. So far so good, right? Well, I resume my un-undeading activities, expecting a lethal volley of arrows any second, right - nothing!”
“So I turn back again - what now! - and there she is, standing firm, a fierce and intent look on her face, her perfect shoulders well back, her head angled along the line of fire, her muscular arms and strong hands wielding her ancient Elysian bow, a stunning figure of grace and power, firing arrow after arrow - right into the side of a statue! A rather nice one actually, a skeletal work with a sort-of rib cage and spinal column motif, but I mean really! You’d think she might notice a little thing like one of her exploding arrows blowing up right in her face and move a few feet! I have to charge practically into the next room to get her off that pointless perch, and get singed rather badly by a few of your types in the process!”
“Oh yes, and then there is the shoot into a wall trick. There are times when she somehow manages to see a target around a corner but still shoot directly into the corner. I’d love to know how she does it! And, mind you, it’s not just corners and statues that give her trouble. I swear, if I had a gold piece for every arrow she’s shot into some pillar or tree or mound or fence or boulder or whatever, just because it happened to be in the way, well I can tell you I wouldn’t be down here scrounging for trinkets off of disgusting and lethal monsters such as you. Oh now that was unkind of me, wasn’t it Droo? Once again, present company is entirely excepted, of course. As for absent company…”
“Where, oh where…”
“Where could she be you ask, well where couldn’t she be? I’ll tell you, she could be just about anywhere. Let’s see, at a time like this, when I’m facing a messy butchering by a horned horror such as yourself - no offense Droo, but if you could see that ugly mug of yours - she’s either got her nose stuck in some corner, standing just far enough away not to notice my precarious predicament, or, …, or else she’s right over there you notching one with your name on it.”
Thwack!
“Hello. Rather nice shot that. I say, that can’t be too comfortable, my friend, having an arrow head sticking out of your Adam’s apple. Not that you seem to notice… “
Thwack! “ROOOOOAR!”
“Noticed that one did you? I would think so seeing as it took your eye out. Well I’ve got one more notice for you my doomed friend - incoming!”
Thwack! Thwack! Thwack! THUD.
“Au revoir my unfortunate Droolie. Hello, what’s this, a nice dagger, and I’d wager not without a bit of magic I’d wager from the look of it, a pair of old boots, I shudder to think what became of the poor blighter you pulled these off of, and some gold, well a very nice pile! Why Droo, you old faker, you were quite the well-to-do chap weren’t you?”
“And bonjour to the lovely Julie! How nice of you to drop in, my dear. Not a bad time for you I hope? Not dragging you away from something important, am I? I mean, I’m not INCONVENIENCING you am I? It’s not too much trouble to show up for work now and then is it? Or maybe you think I’m not paying you enough - well maybe you should have worked that out before signing on the dotted line! “
“And while we’re on the subject of money, you haven’t somehow confused me with one of those rich necromancers from Lut Gholein have you? Do you see any gem-studded weapons or ornate finery in my attire? Any gold rings or jeweled accoutrements? Or do you see demon hide and bone, worn boots and tattered armor? And nothing I haven’t practically killed myself to get! So I would ask that you try to be a bit thriftier with the provisions I supply. FIVE arrows to kill that beast! It’s not like you just find them just lying on the ground is it? I paid good money for that last quiver and I expect you to make it last!”
“Just how many arrows does it take to kill one of those things? You’re not usually so sloppy. Is everything alright? You’re not hurt are you? Oh, don’t be angry. I’m sorry if I have spoken harshly to you. You really are a sight for sore eyes! But I really should be cross with you, you know. Did you see the look in that thing’s eyes? It would have killed me with no more thought than swatting a fly. No matter how many times I see that murderous look - that vile tryst of brute unconscious malice and pure indifference - I can never get used to it. Is that because of my own longing and loneliness? Or is it because it reminds me of what I’ve become: an unremembered soul in a forgotten realm of unthinkable horrors?”
“I suppose that’s the real reason I keep you with me, my dear. It’s a comfort having you by me, to help me and keep me company. Oh I know we don’t talk, exactly - although at times I’d swear I can hear your thoughts - but we are companions, are we not, and sometimes it’s enough just knowing that there is one living thing in the world that doesn’t hate me.”
“I suppose I should thank you. If you hadn’t come along on this quest, well, who knows where I’d be. Would I still be trying? Would I even be alive? Thank you my dear, for companionship, for the many times you’ve saved my life, for that and so much more. You really have been quite special to me. Thank you. Thank you so very much. I shall miss you.”
“Now, I have something for you. Come here please, yes, come child, come to me. Look, it’s a tiara. Isn’t it beautiful? Do you see the jewel? The jewel is very rare and very special. See its facets, how unusual and intricate they are? Deep within this jewel is an arcane and powerful energy. It almost looks alive does it not? And it’s for you. Here, let me place it upon your head.”
Julia: “I’ll put that to good use.”
“I know you will, my dear. Oh how lovely you look! Now I have some instructions for you. It’s very important that you do exactly what I tell you now. It’s very simple. I want you to go stand over there by that great seal. I will stand over here by this other one. In a moment I will break this seal by me, but first let me make my bone wall.”
Rumble!
“My bone wall! How long it’s gotten, so well populated! It seems like I can remember every one. They’re all here. Do you see them, my dear, the faces, the bony frames of your many predecessors? There all collected here, and soon I will add you to my collection as well.”
“My collection! Oh, but that does sound gruesome. Did I really just say that? Well, am I not gruesome? Look at me, all poison and bone. Am I really that different from poor old Droolie? Do I not prowl the same hallways of the same dark lair in search of same tasty morsels? Do I not deal death just as eagerly? Am I not a Venom Lord myself? This wand my horn, this string of teeth I wear my fangs, and my poison, well, rare’s the venom that’s a match for it. And what end is there for me, Droo, if not the same as yours: a lonely, savage butchering at the hands of a fellow butcher?”
“But what point is there to these endless questions? Why do I torture myself this way when I have strategies to complete and miles of quest before I rest?”
“It’s time Julia. Be brave my dear! But telling you to be brave is like telling a fish to swim isn’t it? Look at you, doing exactly as you are told, without question. Oh, why do you make it so easy for me? How can you put your trust in someone who deals in death so easily, so intimately, as I do? Can’t you see that I am just as foul, just as murderous as any of the other filthy monsters in this place?”
“Julie, I was not always so, no, I was once your age, though it seems impossible now. Yes, there was a time when I would have better places to take a young beauty such as yourself. And better things to say, sweet things, full of love and hope and other silly things. Hear this Julia, this thing I am about to do, would once not have been so easy, to let you go this way. Believe me Julia, that even now as I prepare to do this dishonorable deed, the spirit of a young man calls to you from the depths of my bosom where I once had a heart.”
“But that young man died a long time ago, before he learned the true nature of life and death and of the untold possibilities of what lies in between, before he learned to travel the road from life to death - and back again! Now death is my business, mine!, to give and take, to deal like a deck of cards, or to play like a game of chess. Is it not ironic then that my own existence has become such a mockery of it?”
“I should tell you the truth at least, you deserve that much. Breaking this seal will unleash a small army of monsters much like my former friend Droolie here, but in appearance only, for in truth they will be stronger, faster, harder to kill, and they will descend upon you without hesitation, surround you, and attack you on all sides with only one goal: your death. And should you prove to be their match there is one among them worse than all the rest combined. Their master, a true venom lord, would surely be your doom. The truth is you will be dead in just a moment, finished, a memory, all-in-all just another bone in the wall!”
“But on to business. I break this seal as I would blow you a kiss. Goodbye, my dear.”
Hissssss.
“Am I dreaming? Those lights descending from the vaulted heights, becoming monsters! Can such things be? Julie! Where are you? Are you…, already?“
BOOM!
“OH! Spectacular! Spectacular! That old snake Gheed was right about that jewel after all! Good heavens! Cut them all down in a single blast. Why, there’s hardly anything left of them. Blown to smithereens you might say! Oh no! If that explosion destroyed the items too! No, I can see the glints of steel among the remains. Whew! That would have been a waste of time!"
“So what dropped? Actually looks like a rather nice haul. Well, let’s gather all this up and pay a visit to the market. Oh and let’s not forget that lovely tiara, what a wonderful item that turned out to be. Oh, and I’m lacking a mercenary now aren’t I? "
“Well, there’s plenty more where she came from!”